Lately, my life has been polarized. I’m extremely excited to marry the best guy I’ve known my entire life in December. However, even with the numerous applications and interviews, I have failed to find a job. I don’t feel like I have failed, though. Those decisions all come down to things that I have no control over and no power to influence. Thus, making me feel thoroughly helpless and frustrated.
I do wake up each day, albeit, very slowly. My family and friends are amazing and supportive. I’m happy to be around them while I try to establish a new chapter of my life. This fellowship makes me feel grounded.
What to do? My industry of expertise doesn’t seem to want to keep me in those roles. Making my way into the public school system as a substitute teacher or regular full time teacher sounds daunting. College teaching is attainable and I’m experienced, but it is also hard to get into if they already have people in mind for the roles. This situation makes me feel lost, hopeless.
This is just a small peek into the life that seems to march on as it has these several months… So, I keep praying and working towards anything and everything. I know there is a plan for me and I’m being encouraged to learn patience.
Patient and working diligently, I will wait.
When did the little things become the BIG things in life? I’m certainly not complaining.
My heart is heavy lately. First, we lost this beautiful feline about a month ago. Her name was Mocha. She was the feline that charmed even the most disinterested person. Amazing does not begin to describe her. She had no fear.
Now, this past Friday some close family friends lost their husband and father. Yes, it had been close to ten years since I had seen him in person. Even being hundreds, almost a thousand miles away, I can feel their pain. He was one of the most amazing human beings ANYONE would ever meet. He made a lasting impression on me while I was a teenager. For that, I am incredibly grateful. I truly believe that some of the choices I’ve made over the years had a bit of his influence. His wife is one of my favorite people on this planet and I cannot even conceive her grief. I know she will be surrounded by family and friends over the coming days. The world should not be without such an amazing individual. However, his loved ones have gained a very, very powerful angel.
In the shadow of these losses, I have struggled to keep the faith, my smile and positive outlook. I’ve fallen to “coasting” mentally through my hours and minutes. Time to get back to enjoying the simple things.
– Raindrops falling from trees after a rainstorm
– Summertime Fireflies (they don’t have many of those in Georgia/Florida, at least where I was)
– Cuddling and playing with my greyhounds (and felines)
– Good Cups of Coffee
– Enjoying the people I surround myself with